Youth Hockey Gifts

Thank you for not flying into a rage and pummeling the ref!!

Football Fans

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

The trauma of losing.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Hockey Season.

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

The Hockey World

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'Dewey, come look! This is so cute. The kids are playing wii hockey.'

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."