Young Socialist Gifts

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Boy and girl at thier studies

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Child protects planet with umbrella.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"So much for password protected."

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"Finally...school starts next week."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"