Young Slugger Pillows

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"What's more important to my success as a child, Dad - improving my batting skills or your dumb ol' window?"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

The Giamatti era

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Baseball Dreams

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

That's my son! Bat boy.

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I thought you invited me to play T-ball!'

"A little high and inside."

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

Combing Baseball and Violin Practice.

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

"Does your client wish to plead 'sweet' or 'lame'?"

Window in the Outfield.

"Maybe Papi will believe it was a drive-by pitch."

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

'Lassie, come home!!'

"You still need that recipe for boiling water?"

'This pitcher throws screwballs. Better hand me my 'special' bat.'

Sports Bar. It's okay, we're a little league team.

"There it is Derek,....our nemesis!"

'It's not my fault that baseballs are juiced these days!'