Young Sluggers Pillows

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

High-gravity baseball

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

The Giamatti era

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Baseball Dreams

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

"A little high and inside."

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I thought you invited me to play T-ball!'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"Will the witness please refrain from shagging flies."

Fans Desperately Try To Catch A Baseball

"Does your client wish to plead 'sweet' or 'lame'?"

Window in the Outfield.

"Maybe Papi will believe it was a drive-by pitch."

'Wait ... Nobody brought a ball? Now what are we going to do for all eternity?'

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'

"This one says he's his company's lead-off man."

'This pitcher throws screwballs. Better hand me my 'special' bat.'

"You still need that recipe for boiling water?"

"There it is Derek,....our nemesis!"

'I think he was born to be a doctor. Nobody can read anything he writes!'

'It's not my fault that baseballs are juiced these days!'

'I'm thinking about dropping out of nursery school in order to concentrate on an NBA career.'

"What's more important to my success as a child, Dad - improving my batting skills or your dumb ol' window?"