Space Sluggers Pillows

High-gravity baseball

"We've made great progress!"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Cosmonaut

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Astronaut love

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"You were going 24,998 in a 24,955!"

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they... market a roll of tape that's easy to start every time?!

'Sir, it's those monkeys we sent into space in 1959... They're back!'

'I told you about the march solar flares before you went out, didn't I?'

Director: US Space Research.

"We have a lot to be thankful for."

"Oh that's just great! You remembered how to make fire. I'm so impressed!"

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

Moonbillies.

'See if they have their green cards.'

Organic Salad

"Your mother named a star after you? Incredible! A star named Dipstick!"

Bassoon musical instrument.

The Marie Kondo landfill

"Take me to David Bowie."

"I see on your application you'd like to work remotely."

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I thought you invited me to play T-ball!'