Young Realist Gifts

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Child protects planet with umbrella.

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I hate this time of year."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'I want to go into farming,sir the idea of sowing wild oats sounds fascinating!'

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

Al, I hear that only one out of 100 art school graduates goes on to make a living in art. That's where I was smart, Axel: I flunked out!

Biblical Teenager

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.

Rural Cityscape

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Expectations vs. Bitterness

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

Japanese disaster

'Love gets the credit, but money makes the world go 'round.'

Gustave Courbet

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."