Young Person Gifts

"You're going to have to start marrying people at some point."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Likes: $2.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Children's Art Show.

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"It's a mobile."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"120 colors and no 'Sun' color!!"

''Now we're the only yard in the block with a blue apple tree!'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Education and Apprenticeships

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"Timmy, your dog looks just like he does in your drawings."

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

A boy with a football

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

The end of innocence

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'Quick! Look cute!'

Jack and the Snowman.

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"So what happened between you and Estella?"