Young Couple Gifts

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

"They grow up so fast!"

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

The wedding-day - first anniversary.

Sterns Father. 'What an unearthly hour that young fellow stops till every night, Doris. What does your mother say about it?' Daughter. 'She says men haven't altered a bit pa.'

Our special place.

"Heavy date tonight, Pop! Heh heh. Wonder if I can borrow the antlers?"

Not Rapunzel.

"I don't mind if it's a boy or girl so long as I Get Child Benefit."

"Smiley, where will we be in 10 years?"

"Sleep? Who needs sleep? It's time to PARTAY!"

Just Married To Keep Our Folks Happy

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Cry babies.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Sauvignon Bonk

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"