Teen Couple Gifts

"My boyfriend's fifteen. . . do you have any perfume that smells like pizza?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"He's gone goth"

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'