Teen Love Gifts

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"Three more years of high school."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"He's gone goth"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

PROBLEM AREAS

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Fishbowl rebellion.

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Teenage Angst.

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."