Young Love Humorist Gifts

Ha! Ha! Twig will never have a boyfriend! 13-year-old boys are idiots. I'll be married before you even get kissed. Brrng. It's someone named Sar-ah! I was wrong. 13-year-old girls are the real idiots.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life!'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

"It's not what you think."

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

Dating Rule #1. Repeat after me: I need some space. I need some space. Got it. Good. Make sure you tell that to Laurel all the time. But

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

"Smiley, where will we be in 10 years?"

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

'I'd invite you in, but I'm way too young to settle for less.'

"He and I connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, humorously, technologically, and self-destructively."

Apple Kiss

'It had been one of those long, smouldering, passionate kisses that seem to last forever'

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

"He's not gonna lose it tonight."

'No, dear, it's not necessary to go to the doctor because Mia kissed you.'

"You'd better switch off your personal alarm I don't want to to disturb your parents."

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

'Translated, his 'I'll love you forever and always', meant, 'Until next Saturday'.'

Cupid accidentally kills one of his targets.

"You're a pig in bed."