Young Jokester Pillows

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'Are you sure your grandpa REALLY got your nose?'

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'It certainly sounds like a fantastic offer, but I'm not supposed to answer the phone.'

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Growth Charts

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Men dancing

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'What's our exit strategy?'

Hot Cross Bun

"So tell me about your last poop."

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'