Young Gamer Gifts

'Billy loved to play with his computer'

"Until you clean you room, I'm confiscating your iPod, your Xbox and your jester!"

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

Modern Childhood

"The sandbox has WiFi!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

Between going to school, watching TV and doing my homework, I hardly have any quality time to spend with my doll.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

'Yes, I can come out and play. My webcam, iPod and videophone are grounded.'

"This camp had better have a power port!"

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

We have your internet connection.

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

"That corners's the children's special play area."

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

'This?! This is the legendary fountain of youth that men have sought for centuries.'

"Grandma says cutting school used to require a hiding place and forgery."

Net Bubbie

'Close the chat room and start your homework or I'll pull the plug and switch you to America Off-line.'

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

'The genius is that WiFi only stays on for seconds at a time.'

Alien Claw Game

Kids in car play iSpy on tablets.

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it's met its match.

March of the Zoombies.

"Shh, don't disturb him, he's working hard."

"So I think I'm going to do my college essay on 'Overcoming Adversity'."

Children trying to play table tennis

'Bad news! Your love line stops at your line of credit.'