Young Diners Gifts

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Who gets the decaf?'

'Can I have flies with that'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

'Regular or decapitated?'

Sushi Train Spotters

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"The usual."

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'