Restaurant Goers Gifts

"Garlic Bread?"

The free-range chicken was great. Coming from a free-range wolverine, that's high praise indeed!

Would you care to join my brothers, my wolverine and me at our table? You see, with six you get egg roll, and at this point in my life "getting egg roll" is as close s I come to "getting lucky." China Garden. !?!

Uh� I'm sorry� What's my line�? "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." I think I'm over-rehearsed.

"Waiter, there are no flies in my soup!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'A table for two?'

An avid amateur magician, Lenny waited tables while hoping to make it big.

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'Oh, come on! you know I can't read.'

'I still don't know how you got a booking here Bryan.'

'Can I start you off with a nice soup bone?'

"Here, this might fit."

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

I love Cannelloni

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.