Restaurant Goer Gifts

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Socrates does lunch

'Talk about service. My water glass is never empty.'

'Great Powerpoint, garcon - i'll have the fish!'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'I thought you said they had a celebrity chef.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"Separate checks?"

Things were going smoothly until the waiter offered to place Ralph's napkin for him.

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

"No, I said I want a veggie burger not a wedgie burger!"

'Physical or Social Science?'

"A tip for my waiter? Well you could tell him he needs to speed up quite a bit..."

'Waiter, there's fur in my soup, too.'

'Excellent napkin.'

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

'Excuse us, Sir - Do you need any help with that chocolate pudding?'

"My husband must be a magician. Every time the check comes he disappears."

"Remember, it's a buffet, not a feeding frenzy."

'Are you still doing that goldfish canary combo?'

'I know, let's spilt the bill two ways.'

'Look at those cheeks, and me stuck in here with my pincers tied.'

'I know we shouldn't have rats in the kitchen...but he's the only one who understands the H&S regulations!'

'I can't cut my steak. Take it back.' 'I can't, you've bent it.'

'Check please!'

'The violin player wanted fifty bucks.'

'Oh, and by the way. Did I mention that I'm garlic intolerant?'

"You can see by its smile that this halibut was humanely killed."

"Who had the garden salad?"

"At ease!"

Table for one, my good man. Shedding, or non-shedding?

I've always been aware of the fact that this place is known for its soup, but now that I've tried it, I can see why Newark Magazine gave it five flies.

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"You ready to order."