Restaurant Visits Gifts

'...Okay...so who had the thirteen bottles of Chardonnay?'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"You folks ready to order?"

'Your table is almost ready.'

'With respect, sir, we are a slow food restaurant.'

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

"Four said they'd had better, three said it was disgusting and the other one will be waiting for you in the car park!"

'My goodness, what's taking George so long, he's been in the restroom for a half hour!'

'Since when are carbohydrates 'market' price?'

"I've been hearing good things about your salad bar."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'You can learn a lot about a person by how they treat a waiter.'

'Not good news, I'm afraid!'

'You've been studying the menu since early morning, surely you must be ready to order!'

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"What do you recommend today?"

"I highly recommend going for the gusto."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

"Hello, Sir! Remember me? You were always putting me in detention. . . Would you like to order now?"

"Is it fresh?"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

'It was very good.'

'I'm being awarded a medal for valor for ordering the chef's surprise.'

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

I'll try the cod surprise.

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'