Restaurant Visits Pillows

'...Okay...so who had the thirteen bottles of Chardonnay?'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"You folks ready to order?"

'Your table is almost ready.'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

"Four said they'd had better, three said it was disgusting and the other one will be waiting for you in the car park!"

'My goodness, what's taking George so long, he's been in the restroom for a half hour!'

'Since when are carbohydrates 'market' price?'

"I've been hearing good things about your salad bar."

'You can learn a lot about a person by how they treat a waiter.'

'Not good news, I'm afraid!'

'You've been studying the menu since early morning, surely you must be ready to order!'

'With respect, sir, we are a slow food restaurant.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

I'll try the cod surprise.

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

'I'm being awarded a medal for valor for ordering the chef's surprise.'

'It was very good.'

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

"I highly recommend going for the gusto."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"What do you recommend today?"

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

"I always give a 10% tip for good service but on today's showing, you owe me £15!"

"The negative sign next to the price of the Chateau Flotsam? That means it's so bad, we'll pay you to drink it."

'Ready for a second bottle?'