Restaurant Adventures Pillows

Good news! We determined the hair in your vegan soup is from the chef's fake fur coat!

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'How is the water prepared?'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"....and hold the garlic."

Platter confusion.

'Whatever he's eating.'

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."