Collecting Restaurant Experiences Pillows

"My compliments to the chef."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Advanced footsie

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"....and hold the garlic."

Platter confusion.

'Whatever he's eating.'

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."