Food Experiences Pillows

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'A cheeky red?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'How is the water prepared?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"We succumbed to your hype."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'How was the squid?'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

A London gent abroad

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

'You made me jump,'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

Odd Spas

Our Troubled Chowders