Food Experiences Gifts

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'A cheeky red?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Is the MSG local?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

"We succumbed to your hype."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'How was the squid?'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

A London gent abroad

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

Odd Spas

Hot Rinzelophtats

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'