Collecting Restaurant Experiences T-Shirts

"My compliments to the chef."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the MSG local?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'How is the water prepared?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Platter confusion.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Whatever he's eating.'

"....and hold the garlic."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'