Restaurant Adventures Gifts

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Whatever he's eating.'

Platter confusion.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"....and hold the garlic."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"