Restaurant Escapades Gifts

"I think our waitress sees us now."

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Today's special... donuts.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

I wish I'd had the review.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Your meal sounded nice."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.