Restaurant Escapades T-Shirts

'No termites, no grubs, no leaves... What kind of crazy restaurant is this?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

Today's special... donuts.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

I wish I'd had the review.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Who ordered the shark?.' '