Dining Escapade T-Shirts

"We have a number of payment options available, including the refinancing of your home, indentured servitude, and organ sale."

"Is the MSG local?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Odd Spas

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'You made me jump,'

'Your bill sir.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

"That! That's why I don't like Alfresco dining!"

"Y a qué de la salade?"

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

Chef chasing an egg.

"Welp, where else do you wanna eat?"

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

"Catch of the day. We got lucky."