Restaurant Escapade Enthusiasts T-Shirts

You seem to have a very sweeping style of handwriting. Actually, I'm not writing down your order. I'm drawing a sketch of you in case the police need it later. Menu.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Today's special... donuts.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I come here for the pepper."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

I wish I'd had the review.

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Your meal sounded nice."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"....and hold the garlic."

'Whatever he's eating.'

Platter confusion.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Haute Chinese

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'