Restaurant Escapade Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Today's special... donuts.

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

I wish I'd had the review.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Your meal sounded nice."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Platter confusion.

'Whatever he's eating.'

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"....and hold the garlic."

Haute Chinese

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'