Dining Escapade Enthusiast T-Shirts

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

Am Awful Crammer.

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"You and your daft inventions."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign