Dining Escapades Appreciator T-Shirts

"He pulls this every time the check arrives."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grandma's caf

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"....and hold the garlic."

Cheese Pile

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Thermidor Dali

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

Long Corkscrew

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"A table in Siberia, please."

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

Three people view wine price 3 ways.