Dining Escapade Enthusiast Pillows

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Am Awful Crammer.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.