Dining Escapader Pillows

'I'm very sorry, sir, but YOU are the one who ordered the jerk chicken!'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Platter confusion.

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Your bill sir.'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

'Soup's off.'

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

"Y a qué de la salade?"

"Welp, where else do you wanna eat?"

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

"Let's go to one of those places where they regurgitate the meal right at your table."

It's the dinner I didn't make. It's kind of a Zen Thing

"The last guy I went out with asked me to split the bill."