Dining Escapade Gifts

"We have a number of payment options available, including the refinancing of your home, indentured servitude, and organ sale."

"Is the MSG local?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Odd Spas

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'You made me jump,'

'Your bill sir.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

Chef chasing an egg.

"Y a qué de la salade?"

"Welp, where else do you wanna eat?"

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

"That! That's why I don't like Alfresco dining!"

'Soup's off.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

Good news! We determined the hair in your vegan soup is from the chef's fake fur coat!