Dining Adventures Gifts

Fortune cookie reads; 'Sorry, no fortune. Ace Fortune Cookie Co. has filed for chapter 11.'

'Er... Waiter!'

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Is the MSG local?"

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

All-Day Breakfast

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Platter confusion.

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'You made me jump,'

The Family Joules: Part 14

'Your bill sir.'

Odd Spas

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"