Adventures In Dining Gifts

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Is the MSG local?"

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

All-Day Breakfast

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"We succumbed to your hype."

'How was the squid?'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

A London gent abroad

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"You were right-we should have just split one."

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'You made me jump,'

'I have a thing about Italian food-my wife has a thing about Italian waiters !'

Our Troubled Chowders

The Family Joules: Part 14

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

Odd Spas