Adventures In Dining T-Shirts

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

All-Day Breakfast

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"We succumbed to your hype."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'How was the squid?'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

A London gent abroad

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"You were right-we should have just split one."

Big Burgers.

'I have a thing about Italian food-my wife has a thing about Italian waiters !'

Odd Spas

Our Troubled Chowders

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

'You made me jump,'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.