Restaurant Visiting Pillows

'Of course the steak's TOUGH-yer won't get cissy nosh in 'ere,chum!'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

' I don't want a nice little wine - get me something aggressive !! '

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'Please remember, it's the ambience you're paying for here.'

"A fly in your soup Sir? Don't worry, it won't live long in that stuff..."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'A cheeky red?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

La Table

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'