Restaurant Exploring Pillows

Feedback card for the feedback card.

"Ok, who just gave my cooking a 1-star review on Yelp?"

"How about that - it really does taste like chicken."

'At 'Chez Henri', Madam, we never explain and we never apologize.'

'Yuck! Take it away.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"When they said it was 'street food' I didn't realise it was all 'roadkill'!"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I come here for the pepper."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'How is the water prepared?'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Platter confusion.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Haute Chinese

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"More croutons, sir?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"