Restaurant Exploring Gifts

Feedback card for the feedback card.

"Ok, who just gave my cooking a 1-star review on Yelp?"

"How about that - it really does taste like chicken."

'At 'Chez Henri', Madam, we never explain and we never apologize.'

'Yuck! Take it away.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Tonight's special? Looks like some kind of meat."

"When they said it was 'street food' I didn't realise it was all 'roadkill'!"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'How is the water prepared?'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

I'm not going to send over my manager just because there's a fly in your soup. What about sending over the fly's manager.

Platter confusion.

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Haute Chinese

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"More croutons, sir?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."