Fun-loving Diners Gifts

(No caption. Signs read the following: Pizza. Pizza By The Slice. Pizza Cut Up Into Tiny Bites.)

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

Sushi Train Spotters

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"What fly?"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Tasty.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"I'll have the chef."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

What's a Texas Tommy? A hot dog stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon. Little Pete's Sounds great. Does it come with anything? A coronary.

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

Mom's Diner: "Just like mom used to make."

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

How We Know You're Getting Old

'It's a chocolate patch!'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

"Honey, I'm going to need on of those kid menus."

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

I told you not to order the house dressing. Hurg.

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"By golly, this tastes just like Mom used to make...she couldn't cook either!"

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'