Yoga Pretender Gifts

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

"You need more info? Listen, son, our ancestors faked it, I fake it, and by gawd, it's time you learned to fake it."

"Avoid sitting."

Scheduel.

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Plagiarism

Yoga

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

Dachshund Yoga

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

'OK, Now let's see your Downward Dog'.'

"Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions instead of jumping to them"

"Some pilates classes would really loosen you up."

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

'Yoga? Tell me more.'

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

"I miss real mountains."

Sale: Air guitar. As new.

'No fair cheating, Mr. Carpenter.'

Very Advanced Yoga

"I don't think air guitar counts."

Snowperson Yoga

'Your first lesson is free.'

"I'd love to come to your Laughter Workshop, but it clashes with my Weeping Therapy."

"How come you ignore me all day... until I start doing yoga?"

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio."

"You may hear a few wise cracks."

Melting Heart Pose

Downward spiralling dog.