Yoga Jokester Gifts

Snowperson Yoga

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Closing Laugh: Yoga Club

Rabbit Costume

"Bed Spread"

Yoga classes door.

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'I'm pretty sure this thing wasn't a @$#%& health hazard when I was drying my underwear on it!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

"Avoid sitting."

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"Downward facing dog"

Gym. Trainer. What's with this "burning calories"? Why can't we just lightly toast them?

"The Chairman will be on shortly, I'm just the warm-up guy."

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

How's the writer's block?

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

"I love my job. It's people laughing at me I can't handle."

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"