Yoga Jokester Gifts

Snowperson Yoga

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Closing Laugh: Yoga Club

Rabbit Costume

"Bed Spread"

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

'I'm pretty sure this thing wasn't a @$#%& health hazard when I was drying my underwear on it!'

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

"Avoid sitting."

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

"Downward facing dog"

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

How's the writer's block?

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

Dachshund Yoga

"I love my job. It's people laughing at me I can't handle."