Yoga Satirist Gifts

"Yoga for hangovers"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

My God, I need to fart.

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Even More Disciples'

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Out for lunch... GOD

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.