Yardline Yogi Gifts

'They just showed up one day. But the players don't seem to mind...'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"It is my place!"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

'At my age, yoga keeps me flexible, so I can still lick myself clean...'

"Mom?"

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

Transcendental Litigation

'Thanks to your Yoga classes, my usual state of catatonic stupor is easily mistaken for deep deliberation.'

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

Weathervanes.

"Thank you."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

'How's your pilates class doing?'

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

Pot Needles

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

"How come we never sleep at my place?"