Yardline Critic Gifts

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

Humans...What is their purpose?

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

Stock market investment advice

Horse statue throws off rider.

Beginning Yarder.

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"Fine. It's just that it'll take me longer to walk there in my skinny jeans."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Big oil.

Leaves.

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

"I'm composing a song for the new administration. It's entitled, 'Hell to the chief'."

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

Flowers of Pollution

Mail & Political lies.

'Some way we've got to get back the good old American know-how to make cheap crap.'

Think - But not too much.