Yard Lounger Gifts

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

Blue Stockings

Sunbathing in the park

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Lighthouse Hammock.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'...and talk about lazy!'

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"How?"

Unabridged Dictionary

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

Gone to seed.

"Chill, Paul. I'm on staycation."

"Stanley, we're into the summer doldrums again, aren't we?"

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"Take us to your feeder."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'Gordon, ever since you were given a chair with wheels you've been seen less and less in the office.'