Yard Jokers Gifts

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"Must get a longer cable."

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

Giggle.

The Return of the Germ

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

Born Cynical,,,,

Animals write 'Clean Me' on cow.

Autumn Only $5 Per Bag

Welcome to the Garden of Weedin'

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

Blower wars.

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

"Is this the ride on lawn mower you advertised?"

"Do you realize we still have a huge bag of leaves from last year?"

Man cutting grass.

'I come from a long line of Sunday roasts...'

"If you kids must have food fights, try not to do it when the cafeteria is serving soup."

"This is a letter from your teacher. Are you seriously eating your own homework?"

'It's a perfect day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the lawnmower is broken.'

'I know it's overgrown - we can't find our house!'

Hoarder Collie

'Oooh. . . I don't feel good...'

Flamin-goes & Flaming-stays

'You complain that you have no outside interests so I've bought you a lawn mower!'

'G is for the God-awful food we were served...U is for the uncomfortable chairs...'

Shooting Leaves