X-box Warriors Gifts

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I'd like the short form instead...'

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Paving over the window-box

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'All these stupid forms! -- You self-employed guys make me sick!'

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"Cool game!"

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

Amateur Spam.

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."