Wrongdoing Ponderer Gifts

"The funds weren't a mutual as I thought."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Extreme Sisyphus

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Ivan Turgenev