Worshipper Of The Pitch Gifts

Football Deity.

Church for sports worshipers.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Drive-thru Church

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Football Crazy.

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Big Football

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

'Any questions?'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"What a midfield wizard!"

Free Speech has heavy price.

'You want to run that by me again?'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'It's a new reality show call 'Detoxing with the Stars'...'

"I'm approving it, you don't have to beg."

'Is there any chance you have been in close contact with a Baritone?'

Football Countdown.

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

'You're just making it harder on yourself, Dirkwood! You're being relieved! Step off the mound! ... He's not budging...'