Worshipper Of The Pitch Gifts

Football Deity.

Church for sports worshipers.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Drive-thru Church

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Big Football

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

Football Crazy.

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

'Any questions?'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

Free Speech has heavy price.

"What a midfield wizard!"

'You want to run that by me again?'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Ryan Giggs

'It's a new reality show call 'Detoxing with the Stars'...'

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

Football anagrams: U.S.A. Has oil (Answer: Louis Saha)

"I'm approving it, you don't have to beg."

Football Countdown.

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

'You're just making it harder on yourself, Dirkwood! You're being relieved! Step off the mound! ... He's not budging...'